Heart of a Heartless Boy
by SeptemberWilliams
Summary: Peter Pan knows Neverland is missing something. When the blue Fairy points him in the direction of a young girl Ella he finds more than he bargained for. The story of a boy who wasn't quite as heartless as everybody thinks.
1. Chapter 1

Heart of the Heartless Boy: Chapter 1

Eleanor's body shook again as she sobbed into her pillow. A gas light on her wall flickered and she was thankful it was not brighter, as her teary eyes already stung. It was quiet so very quiet. If her heart ached before when her brother Edwin coughed relentlessly, night after night, it was nothing compared to now. It had been a month since he grew sicker and illness took him. As if the horror wasn't enough her parents made it all the worse. At the death of her brother her mother had retreated within herself, her blue eyes staring blankly into the distance. All the life from her seeming to have been drained, Eleanor thought it only a matter of time before she refused to leave the bed altogether. Her father was worse, he raged about now not as explosively as he did in the beginning, now only bitter and wounded. She rubs the scar inside her hand. She had gotten that cleaning up the carnage of her father's rage. It became a routine now: He destroyed the house and Eleanor would put it back together. When he was gone, at work in the city, Eleanor stayed and worked to clean the house and feed her and her mother. She prepared dinner and set the table and made sure her mother was dressed and present went her father arrived. He would come with the smell of liquor on him and Eleanor would keep her mouth fixed shut most of the time, just waiting until it was over and she could clear the table and they would all go their separate ways.

Tonight she just hadn't been able to manage. Her mother had been unruly in the night and Eleanor stayed up with her stroking her hair calmingly until the sun had risen and her father had left. The cleaning that day had been so very slow and so very hard. She stumbled through the day as best she could and even kept upright at the dinner table. But she stumbled when she was clearing the table and broke all the plate she was carrying. He father stormed in from the living area, where he had either been reading or drinking, and preceded to yell at her whilst also making her clean up her mess. His biting words still rang in her ears: _"Useless is what you are and all you'll ever be! Why couldn't god have taken you instead of my boy?" _Eleanor wiped away the new wave of tears. Sometimes she wondered much the same. But as she pondered it she realized that even though losing Edwin had been tragic, the was still a world full of little boys and girls being brought up and that for them the world must go on. But her parents couldn't seem to understand that. What is it, Eleanor wondered, that made adults so very blind? Was it part of growing up? That being so extremely engulfed in the everyday routine of life and the problems accompanying it that they just forget about the rest of the world and opportunity? If so she hoped that it never had to happen to her. She would rather just never grow up at all…

She didn't remember going to sleep, but she sat up now wiping the sand from her eyes as she did so. It was the middle of the night but she had left the gas light on, as she turned to extinguish it, she noticed the figure standing above Robert's bed. She inhaled sharply and stared at the boy. He was tall and lean and green and brown clothes made from different types of fabric, he looked very pale in the light of her room. But none of that caught her attention like his shadow. The thing was dancing around of its own accord seemingly unattached to the boy whenever he ceased moving. She barley registered the boy talking to himself.

"Makes no sense… should have come sooner…" He started pacing and his shadow returned to normal. Oddly Eleanor wasn't afraid of him but she felt like she needed to say something.

"He died a month ago." She said because the way he was circling Edwin's bed it was as if he were waiting for her brother to reappear. He snapped around to look at her as if he didn't know she was there. He seemed dumfounded by her words.

"How?" He asked shaking his head.

"Illness." Eleanor managed to choke out. Speaking of Edwin still made her throat tighten. The news seemed to be particularly depressing for they boy as well.

"I'm sorry." He sounded sorry, though Eleanor didn't think it was for her. He started to pace again mumbling, "But the child, the child should have been…" he stopped and turned to look directly at Eleanor. "Here" he finished.

There was a pause in which neither of them moved. The stillness seemed to allow his shadow its freedom and again it started to dance. The quiet made Eleanor uneasy and thinking of nothing better she said, "Your shadow has a mind of its own." She didn't know why it wasn't more of a question; it seemed quite possible, it was happening right before her very eyes, yet many would have still been unable to believe.

But not Eleanor.

The boy smiled at her, genuinely. "Yes" he said. "I'm afraid it gets a little restless being trapped down all the time. Sometimes he gets away and it's a nightmare to recapture." He said with mock grief, and it made Eleanor giggle. The tension was ebbing away as if the dancing shadow and mysterious boy were normal.

"I'm Eleanor by the way." Eleanor said. Seeing the boys face scrunch in distaste she laughed and added. "Call me Ella if you like."

The boy smiled and extended a hand. "I'm Peter, Peter Pan."

"Like the plays and the book?" Ella asked. But Peter shook his head.

"Nothing like, I'm afraid. But I am the original and source of those stories. How old are you Ella?" The question caught Ella off guard for it was very strange.

"Thirteen." She said, still somewhat bewildered.

"Excellent, Do you believe in magic Ella?" He asked with a sly smirk, stepping backward toward the window of Ella's room. She followed nodding.

"I do, I believe in a great many things. Been told it was my best trait even." She said absently remembering her mother's complement from many months ago.

"Excellent," He said again, "My homeland, Neverland, its full of magic. And kids never have to grow up, and we can be free. Will you come with me?" He backed up until he was standing on the sill of her window and he held his hand an open hand toward Ella.

Ella opened up her mouth, then closed it and bit her lip. Her mother she knew would hardly register her absence, she had died with Edwin and Ella knew that. Her father wouldn't care either, he thought her useless and wished her gone. Perhaps it was a wish she could grant. Never grow up, isn't that what she had wished for? Ella believed in many things but coincidence wasn't one of them.

"Are you an Angel?" She asked bluntly and that boy laughed and shook his head.

"Never met an Angel before but I am magic." He said with a shrug.

"I don't understand." Ella said with a furrowed brow, "How could you know I needed you? Why did you come here?"

He seemed a bit shocked at that question, but answered all the same, "I was looking for destiny, and a very powerful fairy pointed me in the right direction. May I take that as a yes?" He stretched out his hand again. Ella nodded to him but ran to her beside and hastily put on her brothers old boots. Who could possibly go adventuring without boots? She hopped up on the sill next to Peter before taking his hand.

"What now?" she asked.

Peter smiled at sideways, it was quite the mischievous look and it made Ella somewhat uneasy. "Now we test your beliefs," he said. And with that he jumped out the window pulling Ella along with him. For a moment Ella's stomach dropped as they started to fall and she very much hoped she had made the right decision in believing Peter Pan.


	2. Powerful Believer

Chapter 2: A Powerful Believer

***( watch?v=oWYsaiOxm_Q )**

Pan had to give it to this girl; She barely flinched as he launched them of the edge of her window, three stories up. She really believed him, that he had magic. Her hands were small and cold within his own, but she had a powerful grip! And she kept it until he floated them to a stop on the ground. She let go releasing a giggle of mirth into the night. She jumped up and down as if she couldn't believe she was still alive. But no that wasn't it, she never doubted for a second that they were really going to hit the ground, she's only marveling in the proof. Her laughter was the sound people are supposed to make when a dream comes true. Pan had to admit it was a beautiful sound. He watched her sit down on the cobbled street. There was a smile on her round face and her unkempt wavy brown hair fell into her eyes. Her white nightgown was a bright spot against the night and with the black boots she had grab she looked utterly ridiculous. The boots Pan realized must have been her brothers.

She looked up at him with a hand on each of her cheeks. She extended a hand to him, silently asking for his help in standing. He pulled her to her feet.

"Now what?" She asked for the second time in as many minutes.

Pan quirked an eyebrow at her, "Well, I'm curious. As to how much you can see, that is. Follow me."

There was field he knew of where the stars could be seen clearly. When they got to the middle of the field Pan gestured to Ella to stop. It was a warm night but still almost pitch black. Pan's voice was a whisper as calm and soft as the summer night. Ella involuntarily shivered.*****

"Neverland is a very secluded land. Time passes different there, and us kids never have to grow up and become blinded to the world around us, never have to do anything we don't want to and never have to go unloved or unwanted ever again. From this realm, the gateway to Neverland is a star, do you see it?" Ella turned her gaze skyward and searched the skies, slow and methodic so as not to miss anything. Pan saw her eyes widen and suppressed a smile. Reul Ghorm did not lead him astray; this girl was a powerful believer.

"Its beautiful." Ella whispered.

Ella stared in wonder at the gateway to Neverland. The star had a swirling light around it that was a mixture of every color she could have imagined, and it looked like liquid fire billowing around that blue center that was the star.

"How do we get to Neverland?" She asked not taking her gaze away from the star. Behind her Pan lifted himself of the ground hovering in midair. He had expected her to reach out to him so they could fly on through the gate, but instead she reached out her fingers toward the gate. Her gaze was almost longing and she held out one single delicate hand as if the star would fall into her palm.

But then something happened. Something Pan had never seen before, something even Peter Pan might have failed to believe had he not seen it. A bright strand of blue light broke away from the gate and fell in slow spirals until it was bobbing inches from Ella's outstretched hand. She followed the motions of the strange ribbon of light with her hand not touching it yet, only it seemed, checking if it was real. She stilled her hand and the light connected with her palm. Immediately the blue light started wrap around her until she was completely covered from head to toe in a pulsing blue cocoon. Then the light started retract with Ella still being pulled along. Pan flew after her but the light was moving much faster than he could fly. Ella disappeared through the gateway and Pan followed close behind. He teleported himself to the ground and sent the shadow to look for Ella. As he searched the skies the smile never left his face.

Ella felt the light around her like warm air: light, soft, and calming. As she went through the gate she felt the light starting to peel away from her. At first she thought she was falling which would have been a problem but looking down she saw that the light had stretched out and curved into a slide. Ella laughed again and the wind snapped her hair around her face. She was so focused of the world around her and on the light beneath her she didn't even register that her slide ended a good twenty feet above the ground.

That is, until started to fall.

Ella sucked in a breath, closed her eyes and braced herself. But her fall slowed as arms fitted themselves under her arms and knees. Opening her eyes she saw and smoky black figure with blazing purple eyes. She reached out a hand toward its face but her fingers didn't make contact with anything. Almost like… a shadow! She shook her head smiling to herself. Things were surly going to be different here. The shadow set her down in front of Peter, who was looking at her as if she were a puzzle that needed solving.

"I've never seen anyone come to Neverland like that before." He said thoughtfully.

"Never? Well that's suiting isn't it? For Neverland." She laughed at her own sorry joke because that hardly mattered right now. She spun around taking in as much as she could before getting dizzy and having to steady herself on a tree. To Peter she said "I've never seen anything this beautiful."

He smirked at her, "Wait till you see the rest of the island. Come on I think you better meet the boys."

"What boys?"

"The lost boys."

**A/N: Hi all! I finally got my wifi back! (Rejoice)  
****Clarification: Ella and Pan is before Baelfire is even born, just to give a feel for the time era  
****Thank you so much to all who followed me, it means quite a lot I will plan on posting a new chapter every monday and I try to do at least 1000 words per chapter. The links at the start of the chapter is music you should listen to when reading, indicated by the black stars. I am really excited about this story and do plan on continuing it to the end. So please, Tell me what you think of Ella, message me you're questions, Let me know if you have ideas for lost boys and any other (positive) thoughts you have send them my way!**


	3. Welcome to Neverland

Chapter 3: Welcome To Neverland.

**( watch?v=cN3SefT4Ny8 )**

***  
**Peter lead her to the campsite and Ella was surprised at how many boys there were. Or rather she was surprised at how many girls there weren't. Unlike Pan who wore fitted green clothes, the boys were all dressed in raggedy brown clothes under thick brown cloaks. The Boys were running around in every direction, playing games and sparring with wooden sticks. It was utter chaos, appealing chaos, but when Peter led them over they all grew still and quiet. They all looked at Ella with unconcealed surprise. She squirmed a little at the scrutiny and considered stepping behind Peter. She steadied herself; She would have to face them all sooner or later. Peter couldn't fight her battles for her, even though she believed he would protect her.

"Boys." Peter said taking another step forward. The way the boys received him and the ease with which he spoke radiated authority, "Meet Ella. I know that I haven't brought a girl back in a very long time. Most of you here do not even remember, but believe me when I say she is one of us. Tonight we will hold a celebration in her honor and I will tell you her story." He glanced back at Ella and maybe she held her head up a little to high, because he added with a small smirk, "Make her feel welcome."

Ella found his speech to be a little short, especially since she realized she was the only girl among them. But all the boys moved at once and she realized Pan's word was enough for them. The music began to play again and many came up to introduce themselves to Ella. When the first boy held his hand out toward her she tried shaking his hand and he gave her a curious gaze. Peter walked by and removed her palm from the boys' hand and placed it on his arm instead. Her cheeks burned even though there was really no reason for her to be embarrassed. Still it felt like she had been chastised by Peter Pan and she felt excluded from the whole working of Neverland, especially as the only girl. She felt like an outsider. Of course, there was no way she could have known they way things were done here. After the first boy Ella dutifully clasped arms with all of the lost boys and tried to learn their names. Ella was good with names but taking them all at once was a bit overwhelming. After all the introductions had been made some of the boys returned to their dancing.

She was left standing with three other boys and Peter, two who simply refered to themselves as The Twins and another whose name was Felix. Peter jerked a chin at the twins and they looked up at him, "I assume our new arrival would like something to wear other than her night dress." He said. Ella looked down at herself; she had quite forgotten what she was wearing. One of the two Twin's said, "The Blue Fairy leaves this sundown, should I go to her and ask for some dresses for her." At this he inclined a head toward Ella. Peter had been about to reply in the affirmative, but Ella cut him off.

"I've worn dresses my whole life. I'd rather wear what you're all wearing, if that all right." She tried to say it casually but in truth she really did not want another dress, and especially did not want to part with Edwin's boots. _What a silly childish thing to do, _part of her brain thought. But then, did that matter when you never had to grow up?

Peter nodded and gave the Twins some instructions on where Ella would stay and what she would wear and told them to show her around Neverland. Ella straightened up at that she could not wait to be let free in this magnificent place. The Twin's led Ella away and she followed them excitedly.

Pan looked at Ella and the Twins subsiding into the distance. The girl still perplexed him because she was both so extraordinarily plain and so extraordinarily unique. He turned to Felix.

"Go to the Blue Fairy and request a vial of pixie dust." He said calmly but still in a softer tone than he normally used. This was important. Felix new that too and he cast a sharp gaze onto Pan.

"You are sure?" His voice was full of skepticism, and Pan couldn't say that he didn't understand. He glanced again in the direction Ella had left and simply nodded once more. Felix looked somewhat dubious still as he left for the part of the island where the Blue Fairy stayed in Neverland. Pan weighted the possibility that The Blue fairy had led him astray but he's known of her. She was completely committed to doing what she thought was good and right in the world. Pan scoffed at the idea. Intentions mean nothing when looking at the consequences. Pan actually held much distain when dealing with the fairies but as of right now they had peaceful arrangements, and that would work until the day it didn't. Maybe that's how it would be with Ella too. He was just going to have to find out what happened. The thought was oddly appealing.

The boys gathered again after sunset. Pan sat by the fire with his flute on his knee and his head bobbing to the music. The drum was beating and the boys jumped around in time with it, some with a wooden stick in each hand adding sharp clacks into the music. All of them circled around the large fire that now lit up the night. Pan caught sight of Ella and was satisfied with her appearance. She wore fitted green pans that disappeared into her brother's ankle boots. A brown lost boy shirt was tied at her waist and fell on her mid-thigh. A sheer jungle green scarf was looped around her neck. Pan wondered vaguely where they had found that. She sat with the Twins and Felix around the fire off to Pan's left.

The boys still openly showed their interest in Ella, though none of them voiced the question they all wanted answered: Why is she here? Pan's word seemed to be enough to ebb the flow of questioned, but there was very little to be done to quench a child's curiosity. Pan stood up, _Time for a show_

"Listen!" He said above the thrum of the drum. The boys turned all attention toward him, excitement on their features in the face of the new story. "We celebrate to night for our new arrival." A few whoops came from the boys and Pan gave a half smile before continuing. "We all came here because we were not given a life we deserved. We came here because people who were supposed to love us couldn't even understand how unique we are. Because we believed in what everyone said to be tales. And here we are. Doing the _impossible_." Pan packed as much irony into the word as he could. The boys laughed and hollered and Pan smiled looking down. "We all have our reasons. But no one has ever come to Neverland without my assistance; no one's belief has ever been so strong so fast to travel between the realms. Not until this night." There was quite now and all the boys turned to look at Ella, and Ella's face was searching Pan's for an answer as to what she had done. He continued, "Some of you saw the gateway to Neverland. Ella saw it too. And she reached out to it. And it reached out to her. And she became the first person ever to come to Neverland by my invitation, who didn't need my assistance." The boys stared at Ella in a new way now, as if she were about to radiate some kind of magic that turned everything to gold. She squirmed under the attention. She looked around at all of the faces just a little panicked. "Ella," She focused on him instead. "Welcome to Neverland." The boys jumped to their feet and the music started up again, Ella smiled and her shoulders fell in a relieved manor. The celebration had just begun and tonight, Ella felt that there was much to celebrate.

**Hello dear readers! I posted this chapter a day early because I love your reviews and tomorrow is not going to be fun for me. No worries you will still get an update tomorrow as well. I like reviews, I love questions, and I need ideas! Just so that you all know i think ****I'm going to eliminate Wendy from this story altogether because she's ruining my plot line. Follow and Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4: Around the Fire

Chapter 4: Around the Fire

watch?v=mnFxHjiTmCA

Ella loved the sound of the music. The way the drum thrummed and fire crackled and the wood the Lost Boys carried snapped soon had her on her feet. She skipped to stay in time with all the taller boys around her. She spun a circle every once and a while and twisted her arms in time with the music. Peter stood and started play his flute. He stood so close to the fire, Ella almost feared he would catch fire. Almost. The new slow enticing sound made Ella want to dance even more, made her want to get lost in the sway. She took a step forward out of the boy's circle and began a new dance to her own beat. Her arms were stretched out, one up and one down and she stepped in timed circles with the music. The music made her want to sing. She let a few notes float into the air and the boys looked around at this new development. She vocalized with the music carrying out low long notes that stretched up into higher sounds. All the while she never stopped dancing.

The boys protested when Ella finally stopped singing and sat down on outside of their everlasting circle of dance. She wanted to kept going but just couldn't bring herself to it. She was comforted by the fact that every night could be like this is she wanted it to be. She looked behind her where the forest awaited her, it was pitch black and she was barely able to outline anything, even by the light of the fire. She stared into the blackness that contained all the secrets of Neverland.

"Afraid of the dark?" A voice asked from behind her. She turned and saw Peter coming over to her. She moved over so that they could share the log she was sitting and shook her head.

"Never been afraid of the dark." She said, looking back into the dark, "Everyone else is afraid of it because it contains the unknown. For me it always just made me curious as to what secrets the dark concealed. Its an adventure, a taunting one." She looked back at Peter, "Does that make sense?"

He nodded at her, "That's not how most people would see it." He mused.

Ella laughed lightly. "No, I think you've made it apparent that I am different."

"That's not such a bad thing to be," he said in mock defense.

"I know," she said. "But it would be nice to know why."

Pan fell silent at that and Ella looked at him searching his face. He wasn't telling her something and she felt slightly offended because she put trust in him and he wasn't returning the favor. She considered whether or not he would tell if she asked and decided it was worth a shot.

"You know why, don't you?" She said and fixed her gaze in the fire. For some reason she felt like whatever he would say in response to the question wasn't going to be good. She wasn't afraid to fall to her death before, wasn't afraid to fly before, wasn't afraid of the fire, and wasn't afraid of the dark. Yet for some reason she feared Pan's next words. He fiddled with his pipe and swayed side to side. Ella thought he wasn't going to say anything at all but eventually he did.

"Finding you, bring you here, was no accident. Just as you had said." He began. "You are the first girl to come to Neverland since before you realm was even born."

"But why? What's so special about me? What was so special about Edwin?" Ella's voice faded away at her brother's name and again for a moment there was silence.

"There is a fairy, not from this land, but still she comes and goes between the realms. She is Reul Ghorm, otherwise known as the Blue Fairy. When a person has a true wish she will appear to them to grant it. I did not even know I was wishing at all until she came down in front off me. I asked what it was I wished for and she said that I wished to find the piece of Neverland that was missing. As soon as she said it I knew it to be true. Neverland was young and free, and so too was it reckless and dark and never ending. I asked her what was missing. She replied that it was not a what, but a who that I lacked. She told me of a house in your realm and said that there would be a child. A child who would possess the heart of the truest believer, the one who would make Neverland complete. You were not yet born the first time I visited that house. I thought that the child whom the fairy had spoken of was your brother. But that cannot be now. It's you Ella. I did not believe at first, and for that I am sorry. But I have lived many countless years and I have never witnessed any belief more powerful than yours. It must be you."

Ella could tell that Pan was finished with his story and she let out a breath she didn't she'd been holding. She considered asking him if he was sure that he was right, that maybe Neverland's savior hadn't even been born yet. But somehow she couldn't believe he would have brought her here if he weren't sure. She still couldn't grasp that she was this truest believer he spoke of, yet seeing the lost boys reaction to her journey was did solidify his theory. Could she handle this much responsibility? Hadn't she always?

She looked at Peter. His eyes were already searching her. She saw something that she knew wasn't supposed to be there: Fear, worry, desperation. He needed this to be true, but still he was afraid she would try to… leave? Perhaps that was it, because Ella it would seem was the only one who actually could without Pan.

"Do you believe you are the savior?" Pan asked quietly

Ella thought about that before saying, "I could believe it. I don't see it right now though, I'm just a girl, I don't know how to use magic, I still don't even know how big the island is, let alone how to change its destiny."

"You don't need to know. It'll just happen, destiny always does. As for your magic, I think you do know how to use it. Its not something a believer has to practice but rather something that just happens."

Ella fell quiet at that. She looked around the camp distantly. Some of the smaller boys had fallen asleep on the ground, one with a large belly was snoring loudly. Peter's word's still rang in her head. And when she thought about it now her connection to the gate had seemed natural, not like a task that needed to be focused on but rather something she was meant to do. She had felt so tranquil, so calm. Just like Pan and the fire. There was harmony between the two so then there was no resulting disaster. If it was something ran on belief then just maybe…

Ella stood and crossed the distance to the dwindling fire. She took a breath and closed her eyes reaching out toward the flames. There was warmth. Just warmth and even when she stretched further still no burn. She opened her eyes and saw her own arm immersed to the elbow in the flames, completely unscathed. She huffed out a breath of excitement and pulled back her arm.

Pan's voice came from very close behind her, "Do you believe now?"

Ella had to admit, she was starting to. She moved so that she was sitting cross-legged very close to the fire. Pan sat with her and they simply sat watching the fire and listening to the chaos of the lost boys slowly fade to sleep. After a while Peter broke the silence with a whispered question.

"What did you mean before when you said you needed me?"

Ella almost forgot the scene in her room; she clasped her nervous hands together. "After Edwin died my parents they… Changed. My mother, it was like she couldn't bear living any more. My father became, quite the monster." She touched the scar inside her palm. Peter noticing the action took her wrist to view the scar.

"Did he do this?" He asked, anger tainting his calm demeanor. Ella shook her head.

"He would throw tantrums and break the dished and mirrors and basically anything that would break. He did it about once a week and the next day I would clean it all up. A piece of glass caught me bad here and neither of them would take me to a doctor so it healed up pretty ugly." Peter looked appalled, and Ella shrugged. "It happened a couple times…"

Pan laid his hand on the scar and Ella felt a flash of heat. Looking down she saw the scar was gone. "You won't need ugly reminders anymore. We're your family now and we're going to look out for you."

Ella smiled flexing her hand. "You know it's kind of hard to believe this place needs _saving_ at all. It's been a dream come true."

Pan smiled tightly. "You'll see, sooner or later." The resignation in his voice put Ella ill at ease. The fire was dying and the world was going to black. She was about to ask Peter more questions when a boy started to scream. It appeared she was going to see what Pan was talking about sooner than she thought.


	5. Chapter 5: I want to go home

Chapter 5: I want to go home

Ella Turned around to see which one of the boys had yelled. The fire was completely out now, and one of the older boys lit a torch. They were all looking at the boy who had screamed. He was short and probably the youngest of all the boys, maybe five or six. He had a round face with freckles all across the bridge of his nose, his hair was a very dark brown and his eyes were brown as well. Tears streamed down his face and his nose started to run, he was shaking something fierce. Ella tried to remember his name. She looked at Felix who was on her left and he assumed her question before she asked it.

"Pudge, he has nightmares every once and a while, wakes up screaming and crying no one can put him at ease."

From the look of it no one was even trying. Pudge just sat on the ground and whimpered and the boys formed a ring around him to wait until it was over. Form his place on the ground Pudge whined now "I want to go home!"

She looked over at Peter who was on her right. He looked very ashamed that he was doing nothing while his lost boy broke down, but also he looked very lost himself.

"What's his name?"

He looked at her. "Pudge."

She scowled at him, "His real name."

Peter furrowed his brow and after a moment he said, "Darius, I think."

"Why can't he go home?"

"He cries for his mother and she died two years before I brought him here. His dad was in the military or something like that, and he lived with two grandparents who never wanted him. Even if I took him back he's been here so long I think that they're all dead."

"Are we just going to stand here?"

"Tried helping before, I make things worse."

"Fine. Do you have a rag?"

"What?"

"Well look at his face." She said in way of explanation. Felix tapped her on the arm and held one out to her. She took it and rolled up her sleeves. "Thank you."

She approached Pudge as one might a wounded animal. He was still sobbing and shaking. Ella knew he was going to make himself sick before long.

"Darius?" She called out to him softly. His old name caught his attention and he looked at her. She stepped closer and sat on her knees by his side.

"Why are you crying Darius?" She asked.

"I want to go home." He sniveled.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

He took four or five half breaths as he cried and nodded.

"Tell me what happened." She urged

"The was a big m-monster _sniff_ and he _sniff_ wanted to eat me b-but _sniff_ he spit me back because _sniff_ _sniff_ I was to pudgy." Ella put her arm around his shoulder tentatively and Darius turned to cry into her side instead.

"Did you decide on the name Pudge?" He shook his head

"Do you like it?" Another shake of the head.

Ella looked around at the other boys still gathered around the scene

"Everyone, I regret to inform you that Pudge has left us and he's never coming back. However this is Darius and I am sure you will find him to be as good of a brother to you all as Pudge once was." The boys gathered around looked confused, but Darius looked up at her through his tears. Ella took the opportunity to wipe his nose and cheeks. He stopped sobbing but there were still tears.

"I want my mommy." He said quietly. Ella tried to stroke his back soothingly.

"I know you do, I know. I lost someone too you know." He looked at her with wide eyes. "My brother, his name was Edwin. But did you know that when you loose someone their no really gone."

"Really?" he asked.

"Oh yes, here tell me do you feel this?" She took his hand and put two fingers under his neck. "Stay still now and you can feel it." He waited a moment, and two and three. Then his eyes widened

" I feel it!"

"Do you know what that is?" he shook his head. "That's you heart. And so long as you still remember you mother then she will stay with you," She a hand placed a hand on his chest, "In your heart." He put a hand on his chest and then deciding her couldn't feel it there put his fingers back his neck. He laid his head in Ella's lap with his hand on his pulse, no longer crying.

"I want to go home." he said.

Ella stroked his hair trying to soothe him, "This is your home, and we are your family."

He gave a small nod and Ella waited. After a few minutes she leaned to look at his face. He was sleeping peacefully. She waved to the other boys and two of the older boys came to move Darius away, somewhere he could sleep for the night. Ella's legs were cramped from being folded and taking Darius's weight. Her first attempt to stand was quite the failure. Peter walked over her and extended a hand to help, and she took it gratefully. She was still a bit unsteady; she had been a little tired before and now she was ready for sleep.

"That was amazing."

Ella laughed, "You set the bar for amazing a bit low. You've obviously never had to babysit."

"Pud- Darius has been here for over a hundred years and he's had nightmares weekly. And there was nothing any of did to help him. You're changing things already" He smiled at her.

Ella stifled a yawn. "I think that's enough for today. Where do I get to sleep?"

"Well you could sleep anywhere but I rather think you'd like it in the caves." He said.

"Sleeping in a cave." She giggled "and I thought today couldn't get any better."

The funny thing about that was she was being completely genuine.

Peter led her and the rest of the lost boys down the hill where their camp was placed and to the base of a mountain. There was a small entrance and the base of the mountain that Ella would have missed had Peter not lead her to it. It was no more than four feet high and three feet wide and it extended in the mountain as a long tunnel. Looking at the small entryway she rather doubted that there would be enough space for them all. But as she crawled through the gap, the tunnel opened up into a grand room within the hollowed out mountain. The room was perfectly round and went up as high as the mountain. Stone stairs spiraled up and connected to each landing. Peter waved his hand and light came pouring from every cave on every landing. _Magic. _Ella smiled the light was beautiful coming from all the caves, Hundreds of them many more than the boys needed_. _Each one had a tattered curtain pinned to one side or the other and a bed. The ones that were already taken by boys had other belongings as well. Some were neat and some were disastrously lived in.The all started the climb and most of the boys turned off at the lower landings. Slowly as the circled again and again the lost boys left to their respective places until it was just Ella and Peter. Just when she thought her legs were going to give out from exhaustion, Peter led her to a room with a single bed and a ball light in the corner floating freely.

"Touch it and it'll go out." Peter said. "I'll see you in the morning when the real fun begins." He flashed her a wry grin and she nodded to him.

"Good night." She said

"Indeed" he replied and then it was just Ella.

As soon as he was gone exhaustion set in. She fell onto the bed and into most peaceful sleep she'd had since Edwin fell ill. She slept soundly with a smile on her face.


	6. Chapter 6: Pixie Dust

Chapter 6: Pixie dust

Ella woke up expecting to remember an elaborate dream that would fade all too fast as she began her chores for the day. But the little light that Peter left her with bobbed in front of her face and Ella knew that it had not been a dream. As she sat up a blanket fell from around her shoulders and she studied the light. She couldn't resist the urge to touch the light and it seemed as if there was sunlight not anyway. She reached out to place a finger on it. As soon as she connected with the light it was sucked away in a puff of smoke with a small barely audible whine. Ella made a contented sound and looked around her cave room. She hadn't really looked at the bed the night before. The blankets were thick like wool, but much softer. The mattress its self was tightly woven from dried grass. It looked quite beautiful. She didn't know what the pillows were, and they were so comfortable she didn't care.

She was curious as to if the rest of the boys were up, so she swung her legs out of bed. She hadn't undressed at all last night, not that it mattered seeing as she didn't really have nightclothes. In the corner she noticed a pile of green clothes and went over to them. There was a more tailored shirt than the one she had on, and a brown cloak just like the boys all wore followed by another pair of green pants. She held the green shirt up to her. It was layered light and dark green and would come down to the middle of her forearms. She would wear it tomorrow maybe. She wanted to explore today, to adventure. If she were to ruin a shirt she'd rather in be the one she had on. She was about to walk out when she noticed a pair of gloves. They were fingerless and blue. She put them on right away. Her hair probably looked disastrous as well so she wrapped the silver scarf around her head before heading out.

The first thing she noticed was that it was still quiet. The second thing was that she was on the second to the top floor and there were hundreds of stairs between her and the entrance. She sat down on the very first stair and looked down with a sigh, this was quite the morning task. She was wishing for some other way down when she felt her self shoot downward. She suppressed a cry and turned her head both ways. She wasn't falling; she was on a stone slide, the stairs. She bit her lips to contain the noise she wanted to make, and smiled as she raced around and around. When the end was in sight she pulled her feet under her and attempted to slide to a stop. It didn't work quite as she had planned because she was going too fast. She took a few ill placed steps and started to lose balance. Just as she began wind milling her arms, someone reached out to steady her.

Peter quirked an eyebrow at her, "Enjoy the ride?" He asked.

She nodded mutely. That was the best she'd ever been woken up, even though technically she had been "awake" before, now she felt aware.

"Was that normal Morning routine for Neverland?" She asked in turn, detaching herself from his arms.

"No, but it didn't seem like you were really going to come down for awhile and I'd like to get started sooner than later." He turned and made his way toward the cave entrance."

"Start what now?"

"See now I've been debating as to what we should call it. Magic training, is inaccurate but also I think you'd understand the concept of that better than if I said belief training, which by the way just sounds stupid."

"You're going to teach me magic?" Ella couldn't keep the excitement from her voice.

Peter smiled at her in a way that made her feel naïve and made her stomach churn. He must have been able to read her pretty well because he made a gesture with his hands for her to wait for him to explain.

"Not here, come with me." He turned and walked away and again Ella followed him. She sure hoped this wouldn't become a habit, though she admittedly liked not knowing where she was going.

They left the caves and Pan led her through the forest. What Ella assumed was halfway through their journey, Peter decided to guide from behind Ella so that she would stop falling behind. Ella wasn't going to apologize for that. There was simply too much to see that her curiosity ran rampant. She wanted to follow anything that moved, which actually seemed to be the majority of the jungle. Peter didn't seem to be getting impatient; every time she got distracted he put her back on course. Ella was a little deflated that they couldn't see more of the island right away but the prospect of magic kept her from completely leaving Pan. Ella was so confused when the came to the base of yet another mountain, equally as large as the one they had yet left.

"Did we do a roundabout?" She asked confused, but Peter shook his head.

"There are many of these mountains in Neverland, behind it is a whole range of mountains, within which is the darkest part of the island, we try to avoid it. But what you need to see is up this mountain."

Ella wasn't quite sure her mountain climbing skills would be up to par. Luckily there was a pathway ringing around the side of the mountain. As they neared the top Ella could hear the sound of rushing water. She turned the last corner and saw the waterfall coming from the side of the mountain. The pool of water was the clearest she'd ever seen, it sparkled and rippled in the faint morning sun that creep into the mountain crevasse.

"That water comes from the heart of Neverland. It is the most powerful elixir of this realm. It can cure the sick, grant visions, break spells, and enhance magic."

"If I bathed in it would that make me magic?" she asked not sure if she was being serious of joking. The whole premise of this was a little much for her because she didn't understand it.

"No. Nobody makes magic, it can only be shaped. You are a believer Ella. I am too. The way we bend magic it's very different from that of a sorcerer, witch or wizard. We aren't charm casters, the power we have comes not from the power we obtain but from within. It comes from the way we envision the world and the way we interact with it as well."

"I don't understand" Said Ella, "What does this have to do with the falls?"

"A test!" Peter exclaimed, and then shook his head. "A game." He reached up and pulled on the string he had around his neck. Attached to the end was a small vial, perhaps an inch in diameter and three inches tall. Inside was filled with what appeared to be very sparkly dust. He detached it from around his neck and held it out to her. Ella handled it as one might an explosive. She peered inside for a better look. The dust was changing colors and Ella couldn't decide what color it actually was. It was like looking through a prism where there was no color and all the colors at the same time. It also seemed to be filled with light. Ella had the urge to uncap it in the dark depths of Neverland that Pan talked about.

"What is it?" She finally asked.

"Pixie Dust. It's harvested from the Star Flowers in our tallest trees here. When the boys get hold of it they spill it all over their heads because when they believe hard enough, it allows them to fly."

Ella stared at the vial. "How long does it last?"

"Not long, a couple of hours maybe." Ella scowled at the bottle. She didn't want to waste the magic. If it dissipated so fast there had to be a way to get it to last longer. She looked at the water, and smiled.

"Has anyone ever tried to drink it?"

**Hello my lovely readers! We're getting closer to the heart of my plot line here (Sort of), so direction, questions and the like are all readily accepted by yours truly. I don't know if i have stated this already but everything in the TV series after you meet Wendy Darling in Neverland, for the purposes of my story, never happened. Pan is already immortal and he's not (SPOILER) Rumple's father. Please follow and review it means the world =)**


	7. Chapter 7: A Risk and A Reward

Chapter 7: A Risk and A Reward

Pan didn't like this plan. It was too dangerous for Ella. Yet there was still a treacherous part inside of him that was tingling with excitement. How had he never thought of this before? But he was rather fond of Ella if this backfired it would be ugly. But if not…

He sat by her on the banks of the falls. She held the deep conch shell he had provided for her. She bit her lower lip, as she tended to do when she was deep in thought. The silver scarf was wrapped around her hair an her hair looked graceful under the sheer fabric in it's wide chocolate waves. Her eyes caught the sun and Pan noticed that they were a light honey brown in the center and got darker around the edge of the iris. She dipped the shell into the water, poured some out, wiped the edges and then rested it on her lap. As Pan held the vial out to her, the worry inside started to outweigh the excitement. He fixed a neutral expression on his face, she was going to go through with this with or with out him. Pan only hoped he could save her if it went bad.

She took the vial and uncapped it pouring it into the water in the shell. When the two connected there was a small flash of green light. Ella smiled "Well, that's exciting." She murmured. She sniffed the potion, and looked at it some more. Pan was about to say she didn't have to drink it when she turned to him.

"Do you believe I'll make it?"

"El-" he started but she cut across him again

"Do you believe I'll make it?" The question hung between them for a moment as Pan rolled around his answer

"Yes."

She drained the conch before Pan could react. He repositioned himself in a crouch and reached out a hand toward her, wary that something was about to happen .

Then she blacked out.

"Ella!" He called, taking her by the upper arms so she didn't slam her head down into the ground. He lowered her gently, shaking and calling her. He checked her pulse and it was steady. He sat on the ground and pulled her head to rest on his leg. He knew he shouldn't have let her drink it. She wasn't ready maybe in time but now… Now he would just have to believe she'd come back. He stewed away in his own uncertainty for five long minutes. When Ella moved her head Pan wanted to holler victory. She opened her eyes and Pan smiled down at her.

"How long was I out?" She asked sitting up.

"Five minutes? Maybe more. You scared the crap out of me! You drank so much of something so powerful so fast, it could have killed you!" Pan was surprised himself at his outburst, it was very much unlike him. But Ella's only reply was:

"I know."

Ella bewildered Pan like no other but more importantly he wanted to know if her risk worked. She should be able to do.. anything now.

"Think you can fly?" Pan asked with a quirk of the brow.

Ella stood steadier than one would expect, and looked up at the open skies. "Of course." She said, and as soon as she did delicate transparent elongated wings appeared on her back, seemingly without her notice.

"Wings." Pan said thoughtfully "Makes sense but it's a girl thing isn't it? No boy wants to fly around with fairy wings, maybe that's why I've never seen it before."

"What are you talking about?" Ella interjected

"Your wings." Pan replied pleasantly.

Ella tried to turn and look at he wings but they were out of her range of sight. "I'll take your word for it." She said

"You don't believe me?"

"Would I be here if I didn't?"

Pan smiled and rose into the air. "Want to see Neverland Ella?"

She nodded and her wings started to beat until she was hovering just next to Pan. The wings beat so fast you couldn't see them at all if you weren't looking and they made no noise. He showed Ella how to get from the Fall's to the Echo Cave to Home mountain. He took her by the water and let her see Skull Rock. The mermaids over Mermaid Lagoon popped out of the water and waved. Ella started doing flips in the air when they were over Cannibal Cove. By the time the landed on the peak of Home Mountain all the boys were up and half the day was gone. Ella was alight with excitement.

"Congratulations Ella." Said Pan alighting beside her. "I think it worked."

She started to laugh and looked out at the blue waters surrounding Neverland. As soon as her eyes hit Cannibal cove, she doubled over in pain and the air got knocked out of her lungs. She distantly heard Pan calling her name. Her vision was pure white. From the blankness rose a single image of a blue ship, with red flags bearing the symbol of a white lion. It was heading for the shores of Neverland.

The vision vanished, and she returned to herself.

Pan's face was inches in front of hers, looking worried. He had her by the arms and she sat forward taking her weight off of him. She was shaking and breathing heavily. What just happened? Pan was thinking along the same lines.

"Ella, what happened? Are you alright?"

She struggled to control her shaking body. "S-Ships, on the shores of Neverland, that's what I saw." He looked behind them at the water and then back at her.

"What did they look like?"

"It was a- um, a blue ship, had red flags-"

"And the symbol of a white lion?" he asked

"Yes! That's it do you know it?"

"Oh yes we know those _travelers_ well. Must have been the water. I expect you'll be getting visions of the future now whether you want to or not. No telling how long it will be till they really come but this time we'll be ready."

"Who are they?"

"They were once lost boys like the rest of us, but then they chose to grow up and left us. They returned in number to steal our magic, the Starflowers. But they don't work outside of Neverland. We always try to stop them and it never ends well. They are a great danger to the boys, and us."

"They wouldn't kill you for something that doesn't even work!" Ella said, appealing to the logic of the situation.

"Yes they would. They already have." Ella swallowed hard.

"Then we best be ready." She said

**Hi all, I know I'm taking weird turns here. I hope you'll all bear with me as a try to make my ideas coherent. Let me know what you think PLEASE. I want to hear your opinions on Ella and the new impeding doom stuff. warning next chapter might be later than next monday. I've got a lot going on this holiday season. Review and follow, you don't know how much it's appreciated!**


	8. Chapter 8: The Calm

Chapter 8: Preparation

It had been a week since Ella had had her so called _prophecy._ With the news of the coming ship Ella had brought chaos. When the lost boys got the news the spirit of Neverland that Ella saw in her first days. The camp became a training camp and it saddened Ella's heart. Boys at the age of five and six were hefting around swords, bows arrows and axes. Ella had pleaded with Pan before he announced the news to the boys.

"_I have magic now, we can take the fight to them before they can even make port at the island! We can take down the ship and the boys will never have to be in danger."_

_He shook his head grimly, "Can't fight them with magic. They bring sorcerers, there was only one last time but I'm betting that they could have found another. That and they harvest ink from the giant squid in the near waters. If it touches us," He made a face remembering something bad and than shook his head again. "No more magic."_

"_So you want the boys to wage war?" Ella had asked angrily, to which he just shook his head. _

"_I don't!" he said. He swallowed hard and made his Adams apple bob. "I want them to be able to protect themselves and each other. I don't want to lose anyone again!"_

"_Again?" Ella took a step toward him but Peter looking quite shaky had just walked away._

After that particularly mysterious conversation Ella had been carrying around a certain sense of dread. The little ones were sparring with wooden swords, the elder ones with very real swords. Ella herself was being instructed in the way of the sword by Felix an felt her chest swell with pride because she actually wasn't half bad at it. She leaned against a tree and watched as the boys fit each other for leather armor and spar. Some of the boys were learning battle strategies and other were leaning how to make bows and arrows. A few moments later Darius detached from the ring of boys that was learning to make bows. He was holding a jagged arch of wood above his head proudly as he ran toward Ella. He had been following her around lately, showing her things and, according to the other boys, talking more than usual.

"Look!" to her waving the frail bow which gave off a few splinters. Ella gasped in mock surprise and knelt down to get a closer look.

"Did you make that all by yourself?" she asked, coating her voice in awe. He nodded vigorously.

"Well I think we're in good hands then. I think you could arm the whole camp by your self." He seemed appalled by the notion.

"Nuh-uh, it was hard and it took tooo long." He complained. "Nimble fingers can do that I'm going down to the bay witht the other boys to lay traps!" he said happily before bouncing off toward the bay.

"Be careful!" Ella shouted at him. She couldn't help it.

"Okay mom!" he called back.

_Okay mom._

Ella let her mouth fall open but she couldn't reply even if she had wanted to as Darius had bounded off to play with the other boys. A small sad smile played on her lips.

"You should talk to him about that, if it bothers you." Said Pan coming up behing her and making her jump.

"Don't you ever announce yourself?" She snapped but her heart wasn't in it. Pan smirked at her.

"So are you going to?"

"Tell him I'm not his mother? I think he knows that."

"Well apparently not." He said, though he didn't sound like he was trying to push her to resolve the issue. If she was truthful she didn't want to. She could love Darius, all the boys for that matter, as her son. A mother was some one who kept you safe and who would always be there. Ella knew that she would fight to protect any of the boys and that here she would be forever by their side. No she certainly didn't mind if Darius called her mom. In fact it made her feel immense pride, like she had been bestowed some sort of high honor.

"Do you think it'd be a bad thing?" She asked Peter quietly.

"No, but fair warning, soon you'll be mother to them all that's the way these things spread among young boys." But Ella just shook her head.

"No, it's the kind of thing that has to be earned." She said. Then deciding to close the matter she said, "I want to practice with magic, care to assist?"

Peter smiled and nodded. Let me show you what there after he said, extending a hand.

Ella took and in the blink of an eye they were standing at the foot of the tallest tree Ella had ever seen, presumably the tallest in all of Neverland. It was as thin as it could get without just toppling over. If Ella had been the size that her da was she could have hugged around it easily. She didn't even bother to inquire how Peter had transported them (She would figure it out on her own later) it was weird though that something could become routine so fast. And even this was hard to claim as truth because the time in Neverland was different than it was in Ella's homeland. It seemed to stretch so that every moment was savored and cherished. Pan started to rise and Ella followed him, now faintly aware of the thin wings that beat behind her. Peter had perched on a branch and Ella carefully sat on another that looked thick enough to hold her weight. She looked at Peter and he gestured to the top of the tree where Ella saw a multitude of bright green buds. Ella could see the tips of thin pink petals. She smiled and reached out tho touch one of them.

"They are starflowers," said Peter, "meaning they only bloom at-" His words trailed off as the bud beneath Ella's fingers slowly peeled out ward into a magnificent bloom. In the middle the pixie dust faintly glowed green.

Pan swallowed and let his last words fall "At night"

Ella pulled her hand back guiltily and the bud snapped shut. Peter's eyebrows jumped high. "You certainly are special." He said quietly, probably not expecting Ella to hear it. She felt her face grow warm and pretended she did not. He cleared his throat.

"Okay, come on. You're going to help me put a force filed around the trees that carry the starflowers. Ella nod and jumped out of the tree, catching herself in the air.

"How do I do that?" She asked.

"Just imagine a force field, let the magic flow and I'll add mine behind your belief, okay?"

She nodded and extended her palms toward the tree and envisioned a wall of magic that would cause any one who ran into it to forget that this was ever their destination to begin with. Only Ella or Peter could go through. She felt heat running through her body, starting somewhere in her stomach. It felt as if warm water was defying gravity and running along her limbs and out her palms. She felt a second surge like fire a moment later and than it was over. She felt exhausted. Ella's wings stuttered and she started to fall, then caught her self, then fell anyway and hit the ground hard. She felt arms come around her and help her to her feet. She could make out Pan's voice.

"…didn't have to do the whole darn thing by yourself, Ella. I told you I was going to help you. Should have let me."

"What?" She mumbled, her head starting to clear. She looked down at his hands and saw them faintly glowing.

"I'm replenishing your magic." He explained. "You did the whole thing by yourself! I told you I would help for a reason!"

"You said to let the magic flow."

"I suppose I should have realized how powerful you are." He helped her to her feet and together they headed back to camp.


	9. Chapter 9: Desire to Burn

Chapter 9: The Desire to Burn.

**A/N: There's more at the bottom. It's backstory time! taking a turn for the scorned here. I think I got a little ****melodramatic in there, but it's okay right? you still Love me right? REVIEW!**

Captain Luther Stiles leaned over the side of the _Lady Luck_ as the salty ocean water accosted his face. Wind blew at the strands of his light blonde hair and relaxed his frame that was rigid in anticipation. It was late into the night already and many of the crew were blew deck resting. It was quiet but, he could hear the mild chatter of the two beings that sat on the opposite side of the boat. The woman had powder blue eyes that were utterly mesmerizing. Her hair was jet black and flowed freely down her back and she was adorned all in red. She sat with a man was slender and hollow. He looked as if he would snap just from standing in the wind. He had dark olive skin and blonde hair, which made him look unnatural and a blank look in his black eyes that warned and one who looked upon them of danger.

Luther ran a hand across his beard putting it back in place before walking toward the man at the wheel of the boat, Reagan Di. Reagan was his closest friend and had been so for quite a long time, longer than anyone Stiles knew. Long enough to remember their years in Neverland. He up looked at his taller friend as he approached. Reagan had Dark blue eyes and chocolate brown curls. His hair was cropped very close at the back but grew longer toward the front so that it hung down in front of his face. Luther was seven years his elder but neither of them cared about that, that had spent thousands of year together on that island. Time was nothing to them.

And yet, time was everything to them.

Luther had been thirteen when Peter brought him to the island. Reagan had been seven and they had been the best of friends from the very start. When you're young it's hard to feel the time passing or not passing. Pan had regular trade with a few merchants back then and they fascinated Luther and Reagan to no end. They would marvel at every visitor, at the miracle time had wrought upon each person. They pondered what their own bodies would look like if they would but submit to the passing of time. As the years wore on curiosity won out for the boys. They wanted to grow up. So they left and grow they did. Reality came crashing into them and it chewed them up and spat them out. The worst part was that they could never return to that land of magic. They had lived in the hard life for too many years. They could never be children again. Not by all the magic in all the world. They would know; they had tried. The got jobs as sea merchants and after a few years of that the bought the _Lady Luck_ and sailed through all the lands in search of an answer to the battle fought against the decay of time. Not one was found. All they wanted the magic back. They wanted to fly with the green light around their bodies and gleaming in their eyes! To go back to the world where doing as you pleased was a good passing of time and not discarded as a waste. They just wanted to return to Neverland. They just wanted to come home! But the first time they tried Peter had met them at the shore. He told them to leave and never return. A boy they had once looked at as a god! As a father! As family! This is how he treated them? The outrage! Luther remembered the day with a bitter taste in his mouth.

_Luther surged forward and shoved his face in front of Pan's. Reagan stood anxiously at his back ready to interfere but not yet sure of behalf of whom. "What is you just want the magic to yourself, don't you! DON'T YOU?! I'll bet you never thought of any one of us as family! We were just fleeting entertainment to you weren't we? Greedy Bastard!"_

_Pan's hand darted out fast and gripped Luther by the throat. "I am not the one with greed in their eyes Lu! You made your choice and you have now grown. Magic here no longer works for you and this island is no longer your home. Can't you even see? You come here, anger in your veins, the commands just rolling off your tongue." His voice darkened dangerously. "I remember a man just like this. Same blonde hair same brown eyes. I remember a boy who lived here and thanked _me_ for rescuing him from that monster." He shoved Luther and he landed hard in the sand. Pan was much stronger than he had thought. Luther sat there in the sand, numbed by the anger, the sorrow and the loss. He heard Reagan but it was as if from far away. The words never really reached him. _

"_Peter please! We didn't know what life was like off the island. We had long forgotten what the outside world was like. We're not made for this. Can you turn us back? We just want to go back!" he was crying. "I just want to come home." He sobbed as he fell on his knees part way between Pan and Luther. Pan squatted in front of the once lost boy. _

"_I am sorry. Truly I am. But you have lived to much, you cannot enjoy being young anymore. Life makes you desperate. The island is a safe place for those who are lost. But you my friends are no longer lost. The two of you together made the choice to turn your backs on the island and together you have lived on the outside." He put a hand on Reagan's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "You don't need Neverland anymore."_

"_How do you know what we need?" Said Luther popping up from his place in the sand. "like you know anymore of the world than we once did!"_

"_I do." Said pan standing as well._

"_Lies!" Luther hissed. "All of it was lies! All of it _is_ lies! The magic will work if you would share it with us, but you won't you greedy little child!" he roared. "I will get my revenge on you Pan. I will smile from the sky when I can once again fly, as I watch Neverland __**BURN**__!"_

He and Reagan had come back years after this encounter. In the time that had passed the duo had met Jaquelin Amato. She was a sorceress they had met in their travels and, tall slender dark and ruthless, she was just what they needed to destroy Pan. She knew the secrets of magic and broke down Pan's barrier so that they could get to the island. She herself took on Pan and doused him with squid ink. Pan could not fight. But his boys did. Luther got sliced from his right hip up to his left collarbone. That little shit, Felix loved Pan like no other and he was rum handy with a sword. Luther had given him a good slash across the face for it of course, and later learned that Jaquelin had killed his brother Carlyle. They had had to pull back so Jaquelin could heal Luther but they had left Chaos in their wake. That made Luther smile. They had come so close.

But this time would be different. They had Jaquelin, and now they had Lazarus Marrow. He made Jaquelin look almost cuddly, and smiled at the prospect of blood. With a new crew of able-bodied men aboard the _Lady Luck,_ they set sail into the portal and made for Neverland. Nothing would come in the way of Luther's revenge this time. He would finally reclaim the magic that was once his. Him and Reagan! They would reclaim what was once theirs. Luther would quench his desire for a burning Neverland in blood. Pan's blood. He smiled at Reagan who returned the gesture.

Destruction was imminent.

**A/N: Hi again! Firstly, thank you for reading and following I love you all so much you don't even know! Secondly i am truly so sorry about the updating or rather lack there of. i thick i shouldn't make promises for every week anymore, but i will get the story to you as fast as i can write it. I promise the story will get better guys! Thirdly, I have now also posted this story on my figment. I'm kind of new to their site so if you like the story go give it rating over there as well if you would please. it is also entitled _Heart of a Heartless boy_.**


	10. Chapter 10: A Mutual Pain

Chapter 10

Felix was tense in concentration. His fingers twitched on the wood of his bow. Drew an arrow and loosed it at one of the targets he had set up. It landed perfectly in the center. He rolled over to face the one that had previously been behind him a little to his left. He had ten targets and he hit all of them in the center every time. He even managed to slice one in half with a satisfactory _Crack! _He was wound tight and on the edge. When Pan told him the Lu and Reagan were to return he vowed that he would not be allowed to wreck havoc in his home ever again. He would make them pay for what happened to Carlyle. He closed his eyes and if was as if it had happened yesterday. It was horribly vivid on the black canvass of his closed eyelids.

_Carlyle had his bow in hand and was firing arrows at the men that streamed from the ship Luther and Reagan had come in. He didn't have a sword. He'd never been good with one. Luther screams rose slightly above the clatter of battle. Reagan was half helping half carrying him back toward their ship in retreat. Felix felt such triumph in landing his blow and the lost boys were so relieved to see the enemy start to retreat, they had forgotten the snake that had brought. Felix turned to his younger brother in time to see the sorcerer plunge a golden dagger into his chest. He remembered screaming. Not the sound but the action. He remembered dropping to his knees and holding his head. Stroking his blonde curls as he watched the light fade from his once bright blue eyes._

A snap brought him out of his revere and he loosed his arrow without even thinking. As soon as his fingers released the string he felt his stomach drop.

There was a squeal and his brain registered the arrow heading for Ella in slow motion. But just as it almost hit its mark it turned to water and doused her instead. He hurried over to her she was mumbling to herself

"Water is just fine but next time perhaps butterflies or flowers or something else that's easier to clean up." She sounded annoyed but Felix was just glad she was all right and he felt crazy guilty.

"I'm so sorry Ella! I was training and I didn't expect anyone to be down here… or awake for that matter," He rambled all of this as he helped her to her feet. She wasn't drenched in water just splashed, but judging from her shivers it must have been ice cold

"It's fine." she said him patting at her wet shirt and smoothing down her hair. She laughed, "I'm just glad it wasn't one of the other boys. Besides I need to get trained just like everyone else but no one will actually try to hurt me so it's not fair training. I should be thanking you. Now I know that water, although not harmful, is not the _best_ thing to make an arrow into." She'd expected him to lighten up at her casual commentary. When he did not she wiped away her smile and became serious.

"What were you thinking about Felix?"

He stiffened and said curtly, "My brother."

Ella cocked her head to the side, "I didn't know you had a brother." She said softly

"I did. His name was Carlyle," He said standing and fidgeting with the bow in his hands. It was Carlyle's; he had always been the best crafter they had back then. Felix preferred it to Nimble Fingers' work. "But he's been dead a long time."

"I understand your pain. Some people believe time heals all wound but sometimes just the name will cause that pain to well back up because you can try to forget but every time you forget you're going to have to relive it. You don't escape things like that, not ever." Her voice was barely a whisper by that final word. Felix looked at her and nodded. Just nodded, because he understood everything she had just said and knew first hand that comfort didn't help.

"How did he die?" She asked

"The once lost boys brought an enchantress on their raid." He swallowed and felt his lip quiver slightly. "She stabbed him- in the chest. A-and I held him while he bled to death."

He wasn't expecting Ella to hug him, but that sure didn't mean he wasn't grateful. He hugged her back thinking maybe he was wrong about the comfort thing or maybe it was because he knew she knew how he felt. Most of the boys here were physically too young to understand, the rest were either mentally to young or just couldn't understand. Most everyone else who lost someone in that fight had chosen to leave. Pan had been devastated. That was when he and Felix truly became friends. From then on he had happily been Peter's right hand man. He only wished it hadn't come at such a price.

"My mother used to talk to my brother and I all the time about angels." Ella said, her voice quiet and comforting as she hugged the lost boy. "She said all the people in the world were being watched by their own angels. Sometimes I wondered how there could be so many angels. There were just too many people you know? But when my brother died I remembered something she said. She said when good people wrongfully died they got to live a new life as an angel. And then I understood then why there were so many. Good people almost always have unfair deaths. It gives me comfort though, to think that maybe my brother's watching me and living another life with other good people. Maybe your brothers watching you too."

Felix felt his eyes sting and felt a tear roll down his cheek. Ella let go of him and pulled him down to sit next to her on the ground. He thought about what she said and felt a little of the weight on his chest lightened. Felix wanted to- needed to believe that Carlyle had gone somewhere better, and that if he kept living that one day he would get to see him again.

"What was he like?"

Felix smiled, "He was a free spirit, most lost boys are. He wasn't afraid to go anywhere or do anything. It was one of the things I envied most about him, his bravery, even if he did get into shiploads of trouble for it sometimes. We weren't actually close until we came to Neverland. I think Pan knew that would happen somehow. He liked making things," He offered the bow to Ella, "and he was good at it."

She looked over the bow and ran her hands over the bow. It had carvings on the handle and there were some lines painted in light blue.

"Its beautiful, he made this?"

Felix nodded taking it back. "He was the best shot with a bow, better than anyone I'd ever seen. Wouldn't go near a sword for nothin' either. One of the boys had given him the paint. Said it suited him because it was the same color as his eyes. He had blonde hair, he was so short and thin, and he was five years younger than me. Only about eleven when Pan came for us."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence until Ella said, "That's why Pan told you separately isn't it?"

Felix nodded and she squeezed his hand. "This time will be different I promise you, I can't pretend to know what happened last time. But we're ready this time. And you have me."

"Thanks mom."

"You too, huh?" Felix turned a little red

"Sorry, most of the boy started- it sorta just caught on." He pursed his lips not sure what to say but Ella sighed and stood

"Its alright Felix." She started to walk away but Felix's words still reached her

"If anyone could be Neverland's mother, I think it could be you."

**A/N: Hi guys sorry for the wait. Also sorry there no Pan/Ella. I just write when i imagine and this is what comes out. Please review and follow and all that jazz, if you have suggestion or a comment, a question, an adjective whatever send it to me. I could hear Coldplay's Fix you while I wrote this so there's that for you thoughts. Happy delayed new year!**


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